okay! so, I'm currently starting to write again, and I would like it if anyone can give me feedback? Maybe love? lulz.
Rating: NC-17, maybe M depending on your constitution.
Cautions: Self Mutilation, self loathing and character death. AU? Probably.
AN: This will be quite short. I had been toying with the idea for a couple weeks and started writing, but couldn’t make it sound the way I wanted it to. I think I got it now, though…
The blade was frozen as it sliced through flesh. The pain and the bitter cold combined into a painful ecstasy for Sasuke. Feeling his skin tear and rend jaggedly, he let out a long moan. This was the only thing that could possibly make him feel better now. The feel of the razor as it ripped his skin apart and stitched his soul back together was welcomed. After the agonizing battle with his brother, Sasuke lost all hope for the future. His vendetta against Itachi was everything for him. Everything. Never had he considered what his life would be like after this grudge was over. How he had to pick up the shattered remains of what was his life. His careless throwing away of all his companions had been merciless and sorrowing.
As another line of hate was forever etched into Sasuke’s wrist and across its many brothers, blood beaded up through the cut, vermilion on sallow, and dripped down his arm in random patterns. Sasuke watched his lifeblood as it pooled around his bare feet, filling the cracks in the tile below.
Now, the tile was forever stained, just like his fouled soul.
Sasuke looked up into the cracked mirror in front of him. The fractured image showed Sasuke in his true form. Dark shadows under his eyes, stress lines around his mouth, prominent cheek bones from malnutrition. All of it collided to form the shattered remnants of Uchiha Sasuke, the vengeful boy turned spiteful, hate filled teen.
Feeling the dull throb of his wrists, Sasuke looked down and knew what was going to happen. He could feel the blood rush towards his wrist as his body scurried to coagulate his self mutilation. He stepped into his full tub and sank down to his knees, letting his hands skim the top of the water. It was beautiful the way the water took his essence and turned itself pink.
Like the water was washing away his sins.
It wasn’t real, though. Nothing could ever take away what he was. He was just a murderous, self righteous prick. Sinking back into the water, Sasuke took a deep breathe. The air filled his lungs and cleared his mind. The bath was pungent with sweat and the metallic scent of blood. The motions of his body disturbed the water, in turn gently swaying the serrated edges of his skin. Letting his head fall back, Sasuke picked up the razor and stared at it. The light glinted of the edge causing the blood dried to it look slightly pink. The edge dug into his finger creating yet another line of self disgust. The droplets dripped down his arm and into the tainted water, producing wispy swirls of red.
Angling the blade towards his delicate, welted wrist, Sasuke sank the edge as deep as it could sink and jerked. The bite was refreshing. The bite was horrible. His now mutilated wrist was gaping, showing muscle and fragments of bone. Sasuke looked on dispassionately as his skin screamed in agony. He took a deep breath and held it. Then gave way to terror. The blood came gushing out faster than ever before, causing Sasuke to gasp and drop the blade and lose it in the murky water. His other hand raced up, desperately, to try and stop the bleeding, but it was too late. He had done irrefutable damage. The tendons and ligaments had been torn and no amount of pressure would ever put them back together.
Just like his life.
His head felt heavy as torrent after torrent of lifeblood leaked out into the water. Whatever light had been clinging to life in his eyes faded and they became heavy, the fringes of his vision blurry and dark. His mind wandered to what he could have been, should have been. His anger and bitter thoughts bubbled inside him just like the blood now bubbling out of his body.
Finally, Sasuke thought, his will leaving him as he sunk deeper into the water, this agony can end.
AN: Okay. First off, I don’t hate Sasuke, but I think he is a very weak person. Emotionally, at least. He always seemed so cowardly to me. He had so much potential and he completely threw that away, like a child throwing a tantrum. I know what he wet threw was horrible, but that isn’t an excuse to use other people. (Do you think I thought about that too much? Lol) Reviews, comments, flames, or whatever would be nice. (Especially the reviews.)